paixaomb | (no subject)

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Bothersome friends? Annoying neighbors? Unwanted in laws visiting?

I gotcha covered.

That's right, from the newest spooks to good 'ol fashion exorcisms, I do 'em all. Forget sending them that three year old fruitcake and give 'em somethin' really to scream about. And for a limited time only I'll even throw in a free demon possession with every exorcism. You can't beat an offer like this so don't delay n' act today!

Call it once, call it twice, call it three times. It's the ghost with the most, kiddies: Beetle Juice

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INTERESTING PROFESSION. WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU DO?

What are you blind? -What the hell? Is that...? Oh, for the love of... I'll do whatever you want me to, for a reasonable cost, that is. I'm an expert at scaring the living and in some cases dead. Hell, I'll kill 'em too if you want.

WHATEVER I WANT? IF I WERE TO ASK YOU TO GATHER INFORMATION, PER SE, WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO DO THAT? OR TO FETCH A PERSON? AND WHAT SORT OF PRICE WOULD YOU CHARGE?

KILLING WILL BE UNNECESSARY. IF I WISHED THAT TO BE DONE, I WOULD SIMPLY DO IT MYSELF.

That depends on who we're dealing with here. Getting certain information could be more difficult depending on the Tom, Dick, or Harry. I may have to turn to more... Extreme measure.

I could take a look under the hood n' do an estimation for yeah though before I start workin' on 'er, if you're interested.

I DO NOT REQUIRE INFORMATION FROM TOM, DICK, OR HARRY. I AM ACTUALLY SEARCHING FOR A FEW VERY SPECIFIC PEOPLE AND THE INFORMATION THEY MAY KNOW.

AND I BELIEVE VERY FEW OF THEM WEAR THEIR HOODS UP ANYMORE.

AND MY QUESTIONS OF PRICE HAVE NOT YET BEEN ANSWERED. HOW MUCH WOULD IT COST TO, FOR EXAMPLE, FETCH A PERSON OF PRESUMED AUTHORITY?

Ah, detective work then. I gotcha covered. Who am I interrogating, or spyin' on, or whatever? Any hot babes? -oh, and whaddyeah wanna know from these hoodlums?

There's no real cash here or something, right? And I'm not taking any of those stupid plants like the rest of the idiots in this place. Man, this could be difficult... You got anything valuable on hand? Any expensive jewelry, powerfully magic items?

~~This is fucking stupid without cash...~~

Beetle juice? What kinda name is that?

One you don't hear often enough. Say it again, kid.

Why? It's not that fun to say. Kinda gross, actually.

If you think just the name's gross, you should meet the owner. Common, I dare yeah. Give the name another go.

You're daring me to say your name? That's a little weird. And what's so gross about you, name aside?

...Your ad doesn't make any sense. Wouldn't a demon possession and exorcism nullify each other? ~~Jeez, I can't believe stuff like that actually exists.~~

[OOC: I'm scared of what would happen if Duo actually said his name three times.]

Why don't you find out for yourself?

And don't question my bargain.

How would I do that, besides wandering off to wherever you are in this godforsaken place?

And too late. I questioned it.

Take another look at the advertisement, sonny. Just give me a call...

I like that name! Beetle Juice! Wahahaha!~

Oooh, you look promising... Why don't you give the name another taste?

Huh? Okay, Beetle Juice! Wahahahaha! It's still fun to say.

That's it. Lemme hear it one more time.

Right! One more time!

Beagle Juice! Bahahahahahaha!~

What a great name. It's really strange.

Hahahahahaha-? ... Beagle? BEAGLE? You twit, say it right!

I messed it up? Naa, I think...I already forgot what it was.

Ba...Beeble...

Baka-Juice!

HOW CAN YOU FORGET WHEN IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?!

Forget what?

Tck! MY N-... -! I get it, you're out for a bargain. I'm a business man, this can work. I'll give you another discount with the demon possession, alright?

Oh, I didn't know you were selling something. I just thought it was fun to say your weird name.

So, what, are you some kind of zombie? Because my friends won't let me hang around with guys like you anymore.

You need to start watching more zombie movies, buck o.

I'm not here for an interview, not unless its job related. Either say the name or get lost.

...Beetle Juice? That's a funny name! Are you really a ghost, 'cause my daddy says ghosts aren't real!

Really? Hmhmhm. Would you like to meet one? Say the name again, it's even funnier a second time.

Meeting a ghost would be neat!

Say it again? Beatle Juice! Heehee, I like your name!

Heheheheheh... I like hearing it. Go ahead, kid, lets hear it a third time.

"Beetle Juice?" What an odd name. Is it an alias or is this truly your name?

Oh, it's my name. How you say it, anyway. It's spelt as the second brightest star in the constellation Orion if you're really that interested. Not that you'd know much about that.

A shame that I've actually taken demons down myself, otherwise your offer might look tempting.

What is your fee, I wonder?

That depends on what you wanna offer.

A shrewd answer, but I'm afraid I never tip my hand when the other player's cards are a mystery.

So name your price.

Ugh... I can't decide on one, alright? How the hell am I supposed to charge people when there's no fucking cash?

Just say my name three times.

Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice.

And DO shake things up, will you? I've been frightfully bored.

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